Birthday Present
by Ron and Harry
Summary: This is a birthday fan fiction that Em and I wrote for our friend Sandra. We wrote it in the school library, so it was extremely awkward and funny.


A Birthday Fanfic to Sandra FROM EMILY AND RACHEL

It was a warm and sunny day as Naruto strolled down the streets of Konoha. He had just gotten off the trolley. He skipped merrily as he sought out sustenance. And then he stopped short, as Sasuke came into view. A chorus of angels sung down from the heavens, and rose petals rained upon his head.

"Neeeer" said Sasuke.

"OHMIGAWD I'M SO IN LOVE WITH YOU SASUKE!" screeched Naruto.

" Derp" stated Sasuke.

Sasuke quickly whipped out his Superman cape and put it on. He gathered his sweet Naruto in his arms and flew them both to his Love Chamber™.

When they arrived, Sasuke gently laid Naruto down on his bed. Naruto was asleep, worn out from his long flight, and close proximity to Sasuke's golden chest. Sasuke took this opportunity to go and gather the many supplies he would need to pleasure Naruto.

He collected melted chocolate, whipped cream, sprinkles, whips, chains and the blood of SATAN (which, as we all know, is a natural lubricant.) By the time he got back, Naruto had awakened from his angelic slumber.

" I am not educated in the arts" said Sasuke.

"Oh Sasu-kins! I love you too!" cried Naruto.

"Luur" murmured Sasuke.

" I agree… I'm ready to make love to you!" Naruto said passionately.

Sasuke pounced on Naruto, kissing him with force that would kill a thousand Kenyans.

Naruto almost fainted in PLEASURE as his one true love licked his face.

"Mrrph" said Sasuke.

Naruto moaned at his boyfriend's loving words.

Itachi was glued to the wall.

Sasuke ripped Naruto's cloths off and licked his golden chest up and down. Naruto moaned, and tried to undress Sasuke as well. Unfortunately, Naruto is an idiot, so he was unable to work the zipper on Sasuke's shorts. Instead, Sasuke took his own pants off, to save the sexual moment.

Even though they are both 12 years old, they had boners, and were fully developed. So they continued with their dry humping.

Sasuke reached over for the chocolate, and spread it all over Naruto's body.

"Ehh?! Sasu-bunny, what're you doing?"

"Grunt" replied Sasuke.

Sasuke then proceeded to lick Naruto's body up and down until he was clean again. Then he grabbed his fuzzy pink handcuffs and locked Naruto to the headboard.

With Naruto restrained, Sasuke was able to make a trail down Naruto's chest to his hoohoo. Sasuke licked Naruto's THROBBING MEMBER!

And it went –throb-

So anyways, Naruto and Sasuke are having hot yaoi smex in Sasuke's Love Chamber, and Kiba walks by and hears them. He hears the groans of LUST as the two genin sex each other up. Kiba grows a bit 'excited' (if you catch my drift) and runs off to go find Shino.

Meanwhile, inside the Love Chamber, Sasuke is using the whipped cream nozzle to stretch out Naruto's ASS.

"Nnnn… SASUKE! That whipped cream is cold," yelled Naruto.

"Lerrrff" moaned Sasuke.

In another part of the village, Kakashi and Iruka were getting it on. Puppies died, orphans were kicked, and they fell in love.

In yet another household, Shikamaru and Chouji were trying to figure out how to have hot yaoi sex without Chouji flattening Shikamaru beneath his girth. They finally agreed to let Shikamaru top. But the very idea of all that work tired him, so he slunk off to go be narcoleptic in peace.

MEANWHILE… Kiba was running through Konoha trying to find his TRUE LOVE Shino. He ran past Lee making out with Neji, and Ten Ten and Hinata cuddling on a bench. He finally found Shino crawling in the dirt looking for spiders.

"OH SHINO! I FREAKIN LOVE YOU!" professed Kiba.

"Centipedes!" cried Shino.

They embraced lovingly and went off to find a quiet corner where they could suck each other off.

Back at the Love Chamber, Sasuke had just entered Naruto's virgin booty.

"Ahhhhh! It hurts!" Naruto cried out in pain.

"Luurp!!" moaned Sasuke.

Sasuke THRUSTED harder into Naruto's bottom. Their moans grew louder and louder until they both went BLOOM all over each other.

In other parts of Konoha, people were falling in love all over the place. Sakura and Ino were having a hot yuri sex party with Ten Ten, Hinata, Tsunade and Shizune.

And for years, there were no babies born in Konoha.


End file.
